Let's Go to the Poles

This well "polished" chapter comes from Polska (Poland) and the first step in an adventurous return to Eastern Europe. I love this part of Europe, not only does it represent insanely good value for money, but in general you certainly feel more appreciated as a tourist; Western Europe gets so much tourism that it's difficult for you to be anything BUT a number. 

Besides, who can deny the intrigue of a tourism poster like this.

Stepping off the plane, it was now into an unbearable humidity and an eerie skyline; the sky was black from clouds with a bright golden sunset sneaking through in long hazy beams underneath. It looked a little apocalyptic, a description that was quite apt in the end. That night we were witness to massive, unrelenting thunder storms and many tornadoes ripped through central Poland destroying hundreds of buildings and farms. These storms seem to be kicking in most afternoons here, a weather cycle reminiscent of back home in Australia.

The weather was the only bleep, besides it the visit to Poland has been perfect. It is always a stroke of good luck to stay with some really cool people whom give fantastic insight into the history, culture and food of this young (yet very old) country. 

The Polish language is an incredible challenge to pronounce for English-types. The sorcery denizens here weave with their mouth when encountering a 'z' can only be witnessed and not described. It took no less than three days just to come somewhat close to the exacting pronunciation of "thank you"! Indeed hearing a Polish tongue twister can cause your ears to seize up for several hours, if you are lucky permanent damage will not be done. 

Funnily enough, Polish was the language spoken by Borat in the movie of the same name. A lot of Polish folk seem to have a good laugh at this and the fact Borat could have just have easily been taken out of the remote farmlands of Poland instead of Kazakhstan. And while I am at it, they could really do with hiring a few more dubbing translators for foreign films. EVERY single character in a movie being dubbed by the same two people gets a little obvious in my opinion...

I for one really didn't know what to expect from Poland in the food department; it's not exactly world renowned in culinary circles. One might guess an inclination towards disproportionate quantities of meat, which is certainly true to some extent, but there is a lot more to it then that. Firstly, Pirogi (the Polish equivalent of Ravioli) is absolutely delicious and will satisfy any hunger fast; it's all too easy to eat a paralysing amount of this stuff. Add to this some of the other great tastes such as spiced mince meat wrapped in cabbage (Gowabcki), paprika'd potato pancakes, beetroot soup, rye soup with egg and sausage and top that off with rye beer or warm beer with jam in it and suddenly a much loved state of Schadenfreude is regained when passing by a McDonald's. 

If you are offered "the grandma portion" here however, seriously consider whether you are capable of eating enough food for two people at this moment. Grandma's apparently will torture you with copious piles of food until you die here.

In terms of sights, the old towns in Poznan, Warsaw and Krakow are amazingly picturesque. Krakow in particular has the largest town square in Europe and is riddled with spires and churches, somewhat reminiscent of Prague. It also has a cool dude who pops his head out the top of the cathedral window main tower every hour and plays a little tune on his bugle for everyone. He's kind of a big deal around here and everyone gives him a wave accordingly.

Somewhat strangely, it seems to be the norm that even once you have paid for entry into a cathedral (or some such) this does not include the cost of taking photos. Each time you even think of raising a camera up above waste level someone always seems to appear out from behind a pillar or secret passage, ready to make their purse heavier and yours lighter. At one point I took a photo and then pretended not to speak Polish OR English so convincingly that the man left me alone. It pays to be stupid.

One of the things that has come flooding back to us here is the magic of train travel in Eastern Europe. The tracks are about as straight as cooked spaghetti, maintained to a barely functional state by a small army of lethargic bare chested men with moustaches in safety vests. This means the trains are incapable of speeds above "Usain Bolt", which in turn means a trip from A to B can take a VERY long time. In the current stormy conditions windows are unable to be opened on the trains and there is no air con to speak of, which basically all culminates in sitting in a tiny little humid compartment for hours with eight other people all marinating in each other's body odour and cigarette smoke laden clothes (smoking is a national sport here). It's something you get used to but I find it hilarious that our clothes smell more from one long distance train trip then walking around a city all day in the heat. Being a backpacker on the road for some time just accentuates these smells even more. Travel : it smells.

It's on the parting note that I will mention the harsher history of Poland that confronts you here. As a traditional stomping ground between Germany and Russia, Poland is no stranger to war and travesty. Indeed, nowhere is this more apparent than in the main square of Warsaw - where before and after photos highlight quite clearly the absolute and horrifying devastation experienced.

Further to this, there is perhaps one place that particularly sums up the terrors these lands have bore witness to: Auschwitz-Birkenau. While the "Arbeit macht frei" sign is now a replica since the theft of the original in 2009, the rest of this place is disturbingly real. The immensity of this death camp and the ruthless efficiency to which it put over a million Jewish people, Poles and other ethic groups to death is heart breaking. The mountains of hair, shoes, glasses and suitcases still piled up in the storerooms is single handedly the most chilling and creepy thing you could see. I hope the world experiences nothing like it again in our lifetimes.