The thing I like about Bavaria …

Is that it’s so … Bavarian. This is the place where typecast waitresses carry far too many jugs of beer whilst wearing a wholesome smiles (in fact, it’s probably also one of the few places on earth where women are depicted just as much as men in beer ads, chugging down said massive glasses with all the social grace afforded by drinking a litre of beer). It's the place where little hats with feathers sticking out of them and lederhosen sporadically appear amongst the populace in all their stereotyped glory. The place where dinner and a show involves being fed inhuman amounts of meat while watching a guy jiggling some bells on a table. It’s here that everything everybody *wants* to represent Germany actually steps up and represents and it’s cool to see. Even if only a small part of Germany.

The visit here was roughly a week or two before the official start of Oktoberfest which is really a blessing in disguise as it meant prices were ‘not-yet-jacked-up’ so one doesn’t have to sacrifice their left nut/breast or firstborn to secure accommodation at late notice. Oktoberfest (in case you live in a cave) is that wondrous time where Bavarians unite from all around to appreciate their beer, food, culture and each other’s company over the course of three weeks in massive tents. Foreigners now also come from all over the world and appreciate the beer part more than anything else and proceed to fill the streets of Munich with their corpses. Truly magical. 

Near Munich, is one of the coolest castles ever built and the namesake of a favourite German restaurant back in Australia - King Ludwig’s Neuschwanstein Schloss. Supposedly the place that inspired Walt Disney’s castle, the semi-random layout of this castle’s parapets, walls and towers give it a feel of being certainly lifted straight out of a fairy tale. Perched on a rocky outcrop, surrounded by picturesque pine forests and waterfalls, set against a backdrop of snow capped mountains, Neuschwanstein is testament to one King’s love affair with folk stories, swans and Wagner … combined with the crazy intent (that can only come with being a king) to possess a stupidly difficult and expensive to build holiday home in the forest. The project sent him bonkers and bankrupt but the net result is an awesome castle that throngs of tourists will appreciate for a long time.

Higher up in the mountains nearby is the Eagle’s Nest, a scenic lookout perched in the clouds on the edge of a mountain. This place was actually built for Hitler as a birthday present for his 50th birthday (note to friends: start saving up for my 50th!), though it’s a shame no one really bothered to check if Mr Hitler was afraid of heights or not beforehand. Consequently he didn't really visit much which, in hindsight, is a blessing otherwise it probably would have been leveled. The views across the Bavarian Alps from the top are absolutely spectacular, made all the more enjoyable by a fresh brew at the restaurant! The all-brass elevator carved deep in the middle of the mountain for the final ascent is quite the feat of engineering too.

A little more solemn an experience; nearby lies Dokumentation, a memorial, housed above the Hitler’s emergency underground government bunker complex that now details the horrific loss of life suffered during World War 2. The bunker itself is open to the public and I must admit it is probably one of the creepiest places in the world. Inside is quiet, dark, cold, grim, cavernous and scarred with calcified drippings of nature’s reclamation. Several elevator shafts drop even further into the mountain into bleak abysses, always with that dripping …

Beside mountains and caves, literally and figuratively, Bavaria also has superbly azure lakes, gorgeous to behold but bestowing a thousand frozen deaths with but a kiss of our mortal flesh. Hiring a boat is the much better option. Simply consume two beers and a dozen sausages to strengthen the body prior, row to a quiet spot avoiding rocks and other boats, pull up the oars and soak up the sun - Wunderbar! When you realise you only have 30 minutes until the boat shed closes, row back like Popeye on speed!

In this little Bavarian sojourn much sausage was experienced (in fact from the oldest sausage kitchen in the world at Regensburg), beers of epic strength and volume were consumed, sun and rain was absorbed in equal proportion, I deployed my average Deutsch skills to practical effect and a stein was finally purchased for the pool room. One and all great achievements!

But on top of all of this, was the experience of something else all together amazing and shocking. An anomaly I had previously believed impossible in Germany; a failed/cancelled train followed by a very late train. This was something common in far away lands, but not here, NEVER here. If tourists are annoyed, the locals are furious. There is absolutely no more a perturbing thing to a commuter here then public transport failure; it means someone somewhere has let their guard down and allowed disorder to creep into the system and affect every day people. Perhaps a little comically, one gets the strong feeling that failure is so rare here that when it does occur, it is as if society is unraveling right before everyone’s eyes. At the very least it certainly came across as a stellar occurrence compared to the UK where a train runs on time only if the planets are all in alignment …

With these dark days of German transit chaos behind, the Schlafwagen was boarded, destined for the northern marches …