The final leg of the Middle Eastern odyssey went far beyond the Dead, alongside the Med and over the Red from Jordan to Egypt.
Unfortunately there is no way to get from Jordan to Egypt via land without going through Israel and again that is something to be avoided as it would have been comprised of a nice ten hour day stint in a sweaty border interrogation office due to shiny Lebanese and Syrian passport stamps. The only option is a ferry from Aqaba to Nuweiba on the Sinai Peninsula instead. In hindsight I am not sure what option was worse.
What followed was typically late arrival at the port and a mad dash from one office to the next to get an exit pass, and then a ticket, and then pay tax, and then get passports stamped and then find the bus that takes you to the boat. Approaching the ferry the pressure was building; the officials were spurring a run and slowly lifting whistles to their lips in an ominous manner in tthe final few metres. What came next was a dramatic dive aboard the ship, bags being dragged on roughly, somewhat reminiscent of one of Indiana Jones' great entries ... the problem was the ferry then sat in the port for another two and half hours...
The ferry, once underway, is quite a blissful ride - that is if you get a seat above deck. If you are in the cabins below you can expect six hours of hardcore foot stench as it's pretty much the norm to kick your shoes off round those parts. At least there was a dramatic sunset across the Red Sea between Egypt and Saudi Arabia, although the relaxation was short lived. Visions of that splendid twilight quickly faded and were replaced with the utter fiasco of disembarkation.
I honestly just can't even remember what the hell happened at this point exactly. You just jump off the boat, stand around in an orgy of people yelling at each other, somehow randomly pick an unlabeled and over crowded bus to get on that drives you the sum total of 30 seconds to a tin shed containing no less than three border checks (that may or may not pay any attention to you) before being dumped out into an alleyway with no signage.
At the end of the alleyway is a giant prison gate that rolls back to disgorge you into a mass of taxi drivers where you are expected to casually diffuse a kind of taxi driver world war three that follows as they try to secure your fare. The bargaining is fierce, as it is everywhere here. Indeed at one point the offer was "$10 to train station?", followed by "$5 to train station!", then "$2 to train station, you drive!".
There was already quite a different feeling here. Egypt is a country that has been blessed with near limitless tourism over the years, however the money from this has clearly NOT filtered down. Indeed in most aspects of people's life here, money has so firmly stayed at the upper echelon that the streets showed real poverty. Desperation seemed present and it felt more chaotic then any country encountered so far.
One word you'll hear a lot here in particular is "Baksheesh", which is basically a tip. You will get asked for Baksheesh relentlessly by people who have done pretty much nothing of any noteworthy value for you. It is so bad in places that you almost have to avert complete eye contact and discussion to avoid falling into yet another over zealous Baksheesh trap.
Social realities aside, the Sinai Peninsula is stunning. Here lies the oldest working Christian monastery in the world and Mt Sinai, a place you can climb to be greeted by a sunrise to end all sunrises from the summit. It was quite a pilgrimage to say the least climbing this mountain in the dark and your shoes will be covered in enough camel droppings to make quarantine shoot you on the spot should you attempt to ever wear them back to your home country.
Actually it's worth making an addendum here to the previously listed insane traffic rules of the Middle East. It is in Sinai that I note to another brilliant "law of the road" in that when attempting to overtake a bus or a truck at night, you must turn your head lights off and "sneak up" on the beast from behind; pouncing on it at the very last moment and overtaking it on one glorious, swift and death defying motion. If you give the truck or bus driver warning you are coming via your pesky headlights then they just won't let you past and will go out of their way to consume all of the road. Ridiculous I know, but sadly true.
Oh you'll also find that every taxi driver has a business card here. After each transit miracle is completed and you arrive safely at your destination, you'll end up having to accept a one. You'll soon have so many of these that it becomes a collectible car card game, for on the back of each card is a picture of some European luxury saloon or supercar that is completely unrepresentative of the ex-Dakar, diabolical death trap you just drove in. When I quizzed one driver over why his car was a Daihatsu and wasn't the Mercedes S-Class shown on his card he raised a small grin and said "that one is still in the shop right now my friend!". I am guessing he wants you to err on interpreting "shop" as mechanic, not car dealer.
The road to Cairo from Sinai is a long one, much longer than it looks on the map. It's sprinkled with roadside "diners" that might have passed for such about 50 years ago and one very long unventilated tunnel that goes under the Suez canal. The hazy mirage at the end is Cairo, an absolute nightmare of people and traffic with a long lost oasis buried somewhere underneath. Actually it's quite surprising just how green Cairo (and indeed the Nile delta) is.
The stay in Cairo was brief, Luxor was the real Jewel of the Nile to be reached via the wonderfully decrepit Ramses train station. No transit hub on Earth will probably fill you with as much dread and lingering doom as this place, especially when it is undergoing construction and small bits of wood wall on you as you walk through it. It is here that you dream of such luxuries as a toilet, or platform numbers and you'll be wondering why your overnight train has five guys in combat gear wielding M-16 machine guns.
Now Cairo has some pretty awesome pyramids that you may have heard of, but Luxor's Karnak temple is simply incredible. It is impossible to not be smitten with the sheer scale and quality of the architecture considering its age. It's amazing what unpaid slave overtime can build when you’re Pharaoh. It’s also amazing just how many of your pets you can mummify when you’re Pharaoh too.
Fortunately, it was only two weeks after this visit Egypt that mass riots broke out and the Egyptian people led an uprising against their temporary/permanent military dictatorship. I don't imagine it will be an obvious holiday destination for some time.
Overall the Middle Eastern experience was worth every penny. It's not somewhere I imagine many of you will ever want to go, but if you do, you may never be more welcome as a guest anywhere in the world. In fact you will hear the actual word welcome used more here than you've ever imagined possible. Here are some examples I noted down:
Example 1
?? "Where are you from?"
Us "We're from Australia"
?? "Ahh, welcome ..."
Example 2
?? "This is traditional Bedouin food."
Us "It's delicious!"
?? "Welcome ..."
Example 3
Us "This is an amazing view!"
?? "Welcome ..."
Example 4
Us "Good night!"
?? "Welcome ..."
Everyone leaves the Middle East on a sugar high, with an ample supply of saffron, with newfound respect for road rules, with sand in almost every nook and cranny, with tans, with quirky experiences, new friends and a thousand welcomes. It's the only way.
