Middle East Part II : Syriasly Cool

The next Middle Eastern leg was to one of the most wonderful (and certainly one of the least touristic) places we have been - Syria.

The journey there alone was quite something. I could only describe the common forms of transport know as Servis' as “Scoobie Doo Mystery Wagons” capable of speeds well beyond their appearance on roads resembling open strip mines. Bags haphazardly strapped on the top aid aerodynamics considerably and the bag straps endlessly banging on the window and roof settle the nerves to no end. 

Sometimes Arabic pop music is played to distortion when it suited the driver, other times you just listen silently to fellow passengers of whom none spoke English. Add to this a seemingly endless barrage of border checks filled with moustached men floating on paperwork, several unexpected detours for cigarettes / batteries / potatoes and then, finally, being dumped on the outskirts of a destination straight into a bunch of crazed taxi drivers and you have an unforgettable cultural voyage. Insane as it all seems at first, it is an experience that fast becomes the norm here in any length of stay.

The final destination was Damascus; specifically the “Happy Nights Hotel” situated above a men’s club, beside the main motorway and right next door to an under construction Mosque that looks like it will rival to the size of the Pentagon. Consequently, despite the hotel’s name, I guarantee nights were happier spent away from the hotel.

At the heart of Damascus lies a labyrinth of streets layered upon other streets over countless thousands of years. Markets of melodramatic sellers flog everything from exquisite metal wares, to mountains of saffron (that we could only dream of the street value of back home), to some of the most elaborate party pipes you have ever laid bloodshot eyes on. Intertwined in the old shadowy alleys are remnants of even older Roman ruins which just further heightened the epic sense of history as we waded through hordes of children practising their “Hello, how are you?!” greetings.

Christmas Day was spent in Damascus. Though the original plan was to make it to Bethlehem for this occasion, the fact it sits in the West Bank and Israel being on Syria’s “not cool list”, it didn't seem like it was worth the hassle or risk of being turned around or spending Christmas in a cosy border interrogation room. In any case the Christian Quarter in Damascus was lit up beautifully with Christmas lights so it was certainly very cool to celebrate the day in the oldest city on Earth instead.

Of course being the oldest city in the world means, Damascus has had plenty of time to get recipes right. The food here was unforgettable example of Middle East cuisine; something I ended up having a dangerous love affair with. Intestinal battles followed laced with epic “out of body experience” food poisoning. At one point I thought I was going to die right there in a bathroom still thinking about how awesome the food was and unfair that it should end in such digestive contortions.

Even the bread is more than just a mere staple here. No one in the Middle East would be caught dead eating anything other than the freshest most delicious bread, lovingly served from tiny little “hole in the wall” bakeries scattered throughout every town and city. When the morning bread session is over, the bakeries kick it up a gear and conjure delectable pastries in the afternoon that people queue as fervently for as if they were free concert tickets. After you taste them you can understand why!

Shwarma is another staple. It’s essentially the “anything goes platter”; an awesome mix of all sorts of hot foods that you can just tuck into anytime, anyplace. It’s comfort food at it’s very best and each region has their own variation (which is naturally always the best), adding a few local delicacies in the mix. One of the favourites was Kibbeh – little fried balls of various beans. Someone informed later that it is a holy food that represents Jesus getting stabbed in the ribs by Roman spears. Lovely!

Want something to drink? How about some tea? How many sugars would you like, three or four? Regardless of what you answer you will seemingly get about six, and you’ll be cordially offered relentless cups of it – splitting your pancreas clean in half. Arabic countries have a long history in Alchemy and Chemistry and these guys have truly mastered the art of reaching sugar saturation point in a cup of water.

Last but not least, and possibly the pièce de résistance of Middle Eastern cuisine, Sayadiyeh. This is a seafood dish par excellence. It makes my mouth water now just thinking about it. It makes me sad that I probably won’t find it again for some time.

In fact it’s a genuine travesty that there is just so much Middle Eastern dishes that haven’t infiltrated our homes in the west. I guarantee you they are worth the effort to track down if you have the opportunity. Do note however that I’ve also probably got the spelling of all of these foods wrong too = converting Arabic vowels to English is more of an approximate art form than a science.

Besides food, Syria of course offered wondrous places to see. The Umayadd Mosque was beautiful (and has a massive courtyard constantly and meticulously polished by small children rolling/sliding around in it for fun every morning), desert roads traversing old towns of traditional Syrian mud brick houses (now with satellite TV dishes) that looked like something out of Star Wars, and Crac des Chevaliers was possibly one of the coolest “Life of Brian-esque” castles you could ever get lost in.

Perhaps the most noteworthy site was not a building, monument or mountain, but experiencing a real story teller spin a tale over a cup of tea (sugar). Once upon a time these chaps were the main source of public entertainment in coffee shops but unfortunately are now a dying breed for one reason or another. A husky voice and a body bent permanently in a story book holding pose evidenced his lifelong passion to the art and his walking cane dramatically cracking down on the table of people not paying attention was priceless. Sure not a single word could be understand, but the way he wielded the words and entranced a crowd was something very special.

Syria, one day there shall be a return to brave your sugary treats again Insha’Allah!