Highlanders

Alas, this is no blog about a movie of which "there should have only been one". Instead it details adventures north to the highlands of Britannia - Northumberland and Scotland.

In such a populated island it feels so amazing that a part of it could feel so remote and rugged. This area has so much history and there are castles and ruins scattered about the mist lands everywhere. The winter days with their frost bring a quiet and eerie peace to these wild areas that is really beautiful to behold.

Some of the best preserved and most enormous castles in all of Europe lie in the north of Britannia, many of them now inhabited by Scottish actors in period costume. The Scots, as you probably know, have always traditionally been a very proud and warlike people. Fighting has always been in their blood. If they weren't fighting the English they fought themselves, if they couldn't fight themselves they ripped trees out of the ground and threw them for sport. They were so warlike the Roman emperor Hadrian built a gigantic wall all the way across England to keep them out. Sadly there's not much left of that wall now by the way, but it still gives you a feeling of what a monumental building project this was ... and how HUGE a pain in the arse those Scots must have been to justify it.

In fact, you really have to feel for the poor folk in the north of England facing the Scots. They were pretty much a plundering hot spot. If it wasn't the Vikings pillaging them, it was the Scots sacking them. If it wasn't the Scots sacking them, it was the Reavers bereaving them. Life was tough here!

An interesting thing I have noticed in travels is that the more isolated, either geographically or financially, a place is, the warmer the people that make it their home. The Scottish people are welcoming, helpful and strangely cheerful given the bleak weather. Admittedly though I was sad to see you greet each other with handshakes up here and not a head butt. Scottish clichés perhaps lead us astray.

Speaking of weather, it was a pretty good run - some sunny days and most importantly no wind. Of course -5 still is rather cool and even colder if you’re letting it all out beneath your kilt.

Edinburgh is a beautiful city and though it really does have one of the highest CCCPM's (castles/churchs/cathedrals per minute) of any city in Europe, Scotlands real beauty is in the highlands and lochs. The leafless woods and coloured grasses that lie beneath the snow capped summits look amazing when basked in the glow of a low sitting winter sun. You just want to explore and explore ... until your feet freeze off that is.

That's all for now but before we leave, here are some extra Scotch tidbits

- Did you know that "arm goohin bark t'mee hooose" in Scottish translates to "I am going back to my house"? The similarities in language are so remarkable! Hey, wait a minute ...

- Haggis and Black Pudding are both delicious. Seriously. But if ever you catch your thoughts wandering to the ingredients as you eat you must immediately go to your 'happy place'.

- Whiskey sampling in a Scottish whiskey shop is more an exercise in human endurance than a shopping experience.

- Only in Scotland can an island with a danger signs about "localised quicksand" and "unexploded munitions" be considered a holiday spot. One thing I know will be of interest to some of you though will be that this island we visted is one of the nesting grounds of the Puffin bird. So technically, somewhere on that island there might actually be EXPLODING PUFFINS!

- Just like the Swiss, Scottish have their own special knives. Except they don't fold up ... and they are called Claymores.

- When hiring a car here, having the sunroof upgrade thrown in gratis for a Scottish winter trip is a cruel joke.

Until the next hallowed chapter (which won’t be long!) smoke a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.