A blog of a thousand words begins but with a single near-cliched statement.
The adventure begins and this chronicle comes from inside the comfort of a good friend's house, who put us up for our first leg of the journey. I am now looking at my wet towel on the window as I write, hoping that it might dry somewhat in preparation to absorb more rain.
Logically this post comes from none other than England where the weather has been rather decidedly English; rain, drizzle, rain, five minutes of sun, rain, hail, wind, rain. There is so much rain here that the locals chortle when you mention the fact we have to wash our cars back in Australia. It actually hailed so much here the other day it looked like it had snowed.
It's not proper rain either, not the kind that falls heavy and splashes on the ground. It is just a kind of unrelenting misty rain that makes everything and everyone always damp, regardless of whether you have an umbrella or not. Although it appears that a man with an umbrella invites doubts of homsexuality, so it's best to just get more damp and man up.
Perhaps the greatest welcome to England is the beloved pint glass. It's wholeheartedly satisfying to order a pint of the house ale (each pub seems to always have their own brew) and sip it quietly knowing you won't have to go back to the bar for some time. The pubs are cosy and social and the perfect way to end a day, or sometimes start it, or break it up. Actually, any flimsy excuse to go the pub and knock a pint down seems to be the way of things here.
Anyway, let's leave the first entry at this. I'll wrap things up with some interesting facts about London.
1. When you get on and off trains you must MIND THE GAP. In fact no less than 4 different announcements remind you of this. You can also buy t-shirts and coffee mugs with this phrase on it. Amazingly, despite this epic and concerted effort to warn the public of the dangerous and despicable gap - people still fall down it. Go figure.
2. If it hails in London, it is critical to cover your kitchen and bathroom sinks to stop hail flying out of them. I really don't know how this works but I am serious.
3. If you need advice on trains, don't ask rail staff. Even, if you do manage to find one not cowering in a known CCTV blackspot from their boss, the chance of receiving an intelligible response is low.
4. Elevensies is real.
5. England just lost to the West Indies in cricket. Cool mon.
6. Londoners rush everywhere with a look of steely determination chiseled onto their face. I believe the fact public toilets cost money contributes heavily to this.
7. Harry Potter premieres in Leicester Square are overrated.
8. Trains over here are powered by the rails as there are no overhead cables. When the track is wet, the train becomes a giant moving Tesla coil. There is something very awesome about a train emerging from the misty, grey nether in a miasma of crackling lightning.
9. Beer comes in pints. I'm getting one!
10. Berries are incredible here. Mangoes are absolutely pitiful.
The adventure begins and this chronicle comes from inside the comfort of a good friend's house, who put us up for our first leg of the journey. I am now looking at my wet towel on the window as I write, hoping that it might dry somewhat in preparation to absorb more rain.
Logically this post comes from none other than England where the weather has been rather decidedly English; rain, drizzle, rain, five minutes of sun, rain, hail, wind, rain. There is so much rain here that the locals chortle when you mention the fact we have to wash our cars back in Australia. It actually hailed so much here the other day it looked like it had snowed.
It's not proper rain either, not the kind that falls heavy and splashes on the ground. It is just a kind of unrelenting misty rain that makes everything and everyone always damp, regardless of whether you have an umbrella or not. Although it appears that a man with an umbrella invites doubts of homsexuality, so it's best to just get more damp and man up.
Many days have been spent walking the length and breadth of the sprawling beast that is London. Brushing amongst the millions of people that call this amazing city home. They rush to and fro, ignoring amazing historic buildings that they have undoubtedly seen so many times before that they no longer register. The daily grind here is particularly grinding, especially for the haplessly visitor caught on the underground metro system in peak hour.
Actually, you simply cannot get by without the underground metro system. Better know as the "Tube". It can really take you almost anywhere, but there is a danger of trusting the tube map more than common sense. Just because the tube map says a station is really far away, it does not mean that the station is only a 100 metre walk away in real life. It pays to use your head! That and you definitely want to limit your tube exposure, the air down there is thick and filled with bad busking music. The black snot you inevitably end up with after a day of tubing is not brake dust from the trains like you would hope. It is actually millions of dead skin cells from all the other people, permanently circulating.
Sometimes you get a whiff of fresh air as it is sucked past you in hurricane velocity as if you are in the lungs of some giant living breathing monster.
Perhaps the greatest welcome to England is the beloved pint glass. It's wholeheartedly satisfying to order a pint of the house ale (each pub seems to always have their own brew) and sip it quietly knowing you won't have to go back to the bar for some time. The pubs are cosy and social and the perfect way to end a day, or sometimes start it, or break it up. Actually, any flimsy excuse to go the pub and knock a pint down seems to be the way of things here.
Anyway, let's leave the first entry at this. I'll wrap things up with some interesting facts about London.
1. When you get on and off trains you must MIND THE GAP. In fact no less than 4 different announcements remind you of this. You can also buy t-shirts and coffee mugs with this phrase on it. Amazingly, despite this epic and concerted effort to warn the public of the dangerous and despicable gap - people still fall down it. Go figure.
2. If it hails in London, it is critical to cover your kitchen and bathroom sinks to stop hail flying out of them. I really don't know how this works but I am serious.
3. If you need advice on trains, don't ask rail staff. Even, if you do manage to find one not cowering in a known CCTV blackspot from their boss, the chance of receiving an intelligible response is low.
4. Elevensies is real.
5. England just lost to the West Indies in cricket. Cool mon.
6. Londoners rush everywhere with a look of steely determination chiseled onto their face. I believe the fact public toilets cost money contributes heavily to this.
7. Harry Potter premieres in Leicester Square are overrated.
8. Trains over here are powered by the rails as there are no overhead cables. When the track is wet, the train becomes a giant moving Tesla coil. There is something very awesome about a train emerging from the misty, grey nether in a miasma of crackling lightning.
9. Beer comes in pints. I'm getting one!
10. Berries are incredible here. Mangoes are absolutely pitiful.
4 comments:
No matter how many "It comes in Pints" comments you make, no matter how many times you say "Time for Elevensies", you're just to freaking tall to be a hobbit.
In other news, Hi! Glad to see you arrived safe and sound and that London has not disappointed with the weather - I hear Wimbledon is running like a week late, but it just wouldn;t be a trip to London if you didn't get pissed on.
Now all you have to do is spend a few nights sleeping in a dentist's waiting room, until the crazy bitch who invited you to stay and then disappeared decides to kick you out on the street at 11pm at night... In the rain... Then you'll be having my London experience! Good times, good times!
Also, I emailed you about a dilly of a pickle I am in with EQUIPE, so please check your email if you haven't seen it :)
Michael: Just when I thought I was out... They PUUUUULLLL me back in!
What's up Adam and Renee..Enjoy the good times ahead of y'all. Send my regards to the lovely ladies of Prague...
I have a couple questions:
1) have you never seen hail before or something? lol
2) although in New Orleans all the streetcars have overhead cables, it's concidered odd... a lot of subways do the "lets electricute everyone" method you mentioned... I take it Oz doesn't have that standard, eh? :)
I'm glad you weren't blown up though. Hope the rest of your trip is safe.
(P.S. don't diss mangoes, dude.)
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